These words are not for those who believe every woman is as sacrosanct as the Virgin Mary. These words better describe Madonna, the Material Girl.This site is copyrighted, supported, and maintained by the Equal Justice Foundation.
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What you can do in your defense
Be certain you are the father of her children
What's important when you decide to order DNA parental testing kits
One way to view female behavior is in more primitive environments where their actions are unconstrained by “civilized” standards. Rudyard Kipling was an astute observer of human behavior and his Female Of The Species gives an unvarnished insight in the stanza:
When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Moving ahead in time to the late 1930's, in the first volume of his autobiography, Bugles And A Tiger, John Masters describes fighting with the Indian Army against Pathans on what was then the Northwest Territories of India, and is now the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan where Al Quaeda reigns and Osama bin Laden hid out. He provides the following description (p. 190):
“Tribesmen who captured any soldiers except Moslems, and especially Sikhs or British, would usually castrate and behead them, and both of these operations were frequently done by the women. Sometimes they would torture prisoners with the death of a thousand cuts, pushing grass and thorns into each wound as it was made. Sometimes they would peg the prisoner out and with a stick force his jaws so wide open that he could not swallow, and then the women would urinate in his open mouth till he drowned...”
Other examples abound. Clearly, the modern image of human females as nurturing and caring doesn't fit their unconstrained behavior in more primitive societies. As with men, civilization is but a thin veneer, and we should hold no illusions as to the inherent kindness and goodness of women.
Given the opportunity it is quite likely that a woman will revert to a baser self, shedding civil behavior like a worn out coat. No man whose wife is having an affair and finds himself charged with domestic violence to drive him out of the house and away from his kids will doubt this for a second.
These words are not for those who believe every woman is as sacrosanct as the Virgin Mary. These words better describe Madonna, the Material Girl.
The world's oldest profession is as widespread as ever. Few men have difficulty picking a hooker out of a crowd and such women want it no other way.
Some of the many faces of Eve are described by words like fishwife, slattern, virago, vixen, termagant, shrew, scold, harpy, harridan, tart, doxy, and floozy, to say nothing of ever-popular terms like slut, whore, bitch, and cunt. That such terms have evolved, and are generally in common usage, is strong evidence that these are general behavior patterns of human females that are readily recognized by men.
Harsh words indeed, but nature cares nothing for political correctness, and such terms succinctly describe the reality of many women whose propensity for violence is well documented.
One needn't go far off any military base to see a side of the female of the species that is totally ignored by the radical feminist movement. Or visit with a few “lot lizards” working the evening shift at a truck stop. Check Channel 19 on your CB to find one.
Female behavior in those environments is often associated with, or calculated to provoke violence, domestic and otherwise. To call the human male's response to such actions “domestic violence” is as absurd as blaming a relatively-safe grizzly bear for mauling the woman in the analogy on the previous page.
If we are to control family violence, then one thing that needs to change are female behavior patterns that are known to provoke males, or such women need to be kept apart from men. Remember, we are talking here about female behavior that is intimately familiar to every soldier, sailor, Marine, and truck driver, to name a few. These types of behavior are foolish in the presence of a dangerous animal and it would be wise for women to learn these lessons in human biology if violence is to be reduced.
Kathleen Parker makes the point that: “While we can't ignore that men, owing to size and strength, are more dangerous than women when provoked, we also can't ignore that women may need to change their behavior.”
Erin Pizzey has termed such women violence prone and states that:
“...it is essential to understand the differentiation between our use of the words battered and violence-prone. For us, a battered person is the innocent victim of another person's violence; a violence-prone person is the victim of their own addiction to violence.”
After opening the first refuge for battered women in the world in 1971, Ms. Pizzey found that “...62 women out of the first hundred women who came to the refuge were as violent or more violent than the men they left. Also many were prostitutes taking refuge from their violent pimps.” Neither men, nor women, have changed that much in the past 30 years, but now such women often take advantage of the present domestic violence laws to further batter the male at the cost of civil liberties for all mankind.
Our words do not imply that we condone family violence. Conversely, a drunken affray that involves some violence-prone tart is not just cause to deny any man his civil liberties. Further, such behavior is often related to an abusive upbringing and human sexuality, and has nothing to do with a patriarchal society. Nor are we “blaming the victim,” who in such circumstances is almost inevitably the male.
We are aghast, and have been sickened by the numbers of married men charged and, all too often, convicted of domestic violence, or who have had restraining orders taken out against them, after they find evidence their wife is having an affair.
Under current laws the wife faces no risk for filing false allegations, nor is there any penalty for her adultery C.R.S. § 18-6-501. Conversely, by filing such charges she gets the house, the car, the kids, the dog, the bank accounts, and anything else she wants with virtually no questions asked and there is little or no recourse for the husband.
As of January 1, 2006, in the socialist republic of Colorado DNA testing is barred after entry of final orders in divorce, child support establishment and enforcement, parentage actions, and in Office of Child Support Enforcement actions. In other words, get the paternity testing done before final orders whether you've got the money for it or not, or you have no recourse.
First, consider what evidence you have for her adultery? It could be you are simply paranoid, jealous, and controlling. So you need to take a close look at yourself as an initial step. But if that hypothesis seems without substantial foundation then you need to start collecting evidence before she files charges against you. And it might be a very good idea to hire a private investigator if any of the following covert signs turn up.
• Lets say she comes home from work late, is gone on a “business” trip “alone,” “goes out with the girls,” or suddenly begins to work a lot of “overtime,” and you happen to notice white, starchy stains in the pubic area of her underwear, or on her clothes afterward. Or other suspicious stains (presumably semen, vaginal fluids, or blood) turn up in or on bed sheets, panty liners, upholstery. That happens to a lot of men and a number of laboratories now offer stain and semen tests. Or you can get a semen home test kit from Checkmate.
• She is always on the computer and you suspect a little cybersex or Internet romance. There are a number of ways of monitoring your home computers listed under computer surveillance.
• If you think lover boy may be coming to your house while you are away, you might want to install audio or video monitors.
• She starts receiving anonymous, suspicious phone calls, or the party hangs up if you answer the phone. Or now she can't go anywhere without a pager. Of course she says: “It's all in your mind.” A telephone recorder and caller ID would also be handy additions to your defense arsenal as the lovers are very likely to call one another.
• Suddenly she is interested in exercise and weight loss but has no interest in sex with you. Or she may want to try new sexual techniques and you find some hidden lingerie.
Of course, it might be beyond a casual affair, and she is looking to get out of the relationship or marriage entirely. That may be something you want to encourage but you'd like her leaving to be on your terms rather than after the DV charges and restraining order she is likely to get to control the breakup and destroy you in the process.
So you might pay attention if she:
• Suddenly needs her “space,” is restless at home, or wants to separate.
• Loses interest in family matters and the kid's activities.
• Has a bunch of new “friends.”
• Mileage on her vehicle goes way up and the gasoline bills are setting records.
• Is running up credit card bills beyond her usual profligate ways, and far beyond your means.
• Is listed on some lonely wives web site like Date A Housewife ( Warning: Shut down your browser when you try to exit this site.)
• Trying to take out a restraining order against her. Likely yours won't succeed, but her's will, and you lose.
• Confronting her with your suspicions before you have hard evidence. A private investigator can be a very worthwhile investment here.
• Putting off gathering the evidence because you think it costs too much. Such costs are a fraction of what legal fees will be when she charges you with DV.
• Leaving any evidence where she can find it and destroy it.
• Getting into an argument or fight with her. In these situations, women will often try and provoke a fight to provide a basis for DV charges.
• Waiting until she files charges or gets a restraining order to look for an attorney.
The legal principal that a man is the father of child born within a marriage, even if the result of his wife's adulterous affair, is based on old laws. In one case, a court actually cited 17 th Century law to back up its claim. A similar approach is also found in Islamic law still practiced in certain Middle Eastern countries.
What modern courts fail to also include in such decisions is that the old law meant that the father retained custody in the event of a divorce — thus, a man could divorce his wife for adultery and keep the child which, in those days, was viewed as a benefit. Thus, a woman who committed adultery became a two-time loser — she could lose her husband and her child. Those consequences discouraged adultery and supported marriage.
Today we have a more enlightened(?) approach. We reward the woman for her adultery by giving her the child, child support, possibly alimony, the house, and most of her husband's property even if she divorces her husband and goes to live with her lover. Conversely, as she is very likely to report her husband abused her, society now punishes the husband for her adultery by frequently putting him in jail (e.g., see the Emerson case ) or ruining his career through her false allegations.
Of course, her new husband or boyfriend has no reason to trust her either — she can easily do the same thing to him.
The present arrangement encourages infidelity and the destruction of the marriage. It also redefines marriage so that when a man marries, he grants his wife permission to have sex with another man, and he promises to support the child resulting from her adultery.
Saying that this makes a farce of marriage is not strong enough. This type of law defines anti-marriage, the opposite of wedlock where the saying of a vow permits the State to do as it pleases to the man and leaves him no recourse. Today a marriage license is a license to steal and many women use it in exactly that fashion.
Once the woman has custody, the next phase begins, attacks on the infamous “Deadbeat Dad.” But first you should make sure you are, in fact, the father of the children.
Few things are more destructive of a man than finding that children he thought were his are not. But odds of nearly one in three suggest that any (presumptive) father faced with even the remote possibility of divorce should immediately get a DNA paternity test while he has access to the children. It should be considered a given that a woman will attempt to deny access to a man's (presumptive) children if there is any question about their paternity. So you cannot wait until she files for divorce, or files charges of domestic violence, or takes out a restraining order against you before you begin considering a DNA paternity test. Such naivety can cost you decades of child support for children that are not yours.
As of January 1, 2006, in the socialist republic of Colorado DNA testing is barred after entry of final orders in divorce, child support establishment and enforcement, parentage actions, and in Office of Child Support Enforcement actions. In other words, get the paternity testing done before final orders whether you've got the money for it or not, or you have no recourse.
In another way the current system is perverted, any woman, at any time, can file for child support from any man. We have many cases where the man has never even met the woman, others where he once knew her, maybe even had sex with her, but he hasn't seen her in years. In some cases, she simply picked the wealthiest candidate from the list of her paramours, often a considerable list.
Typically notice of the paternity hearing is sent to the address the woman provides. The court does not check on whether that address is accurate or has, or ever had any relationship to the putative father. When the man, who probably never receives the notice, doesn't appear, the court makes a default judgement, and he is ordered to pay child support at least until “his” child is 18-year's old. At a minimum this is happening to thousands of men a month in the United States. An October, 1998 series in the Los Angeles Times reported that in Los Angeles alone there are 350 new cases each month of men required to support children who are established by DNA testing not to be theirs.
To the utter disgrace of our society, many women find it very convenient to claim the father is in the military. It is even more convenient if the man is now serving overseas or fighting a war where he has no chance of defending himself even if, by some miracle, he receives notice of the paternity hearing. Once the military receives the child support order they automatically begin deducting the money from his pay. When “Dad” eventually gets back from the latest War Against Timbuctoo it is virtually impossible for him to reverse the court order for child support even if, by some fluke, he is able to get a DNA sample from the child and a paternity test that proves beyond a reasonable doubt that the child couldn't possibly be his.
Since the address, and often the name, the woman gives the court often are often incorrect, the district attorney, or other child support services, begin looking for the “father.” When located, garnishment of his wages often begins without notice and checking and savings accounts are confiscated. He may also be thrown in jail for contempt of court if he can't or doesn't pay.
Another “Deadbeat Dad” caught and punished for the good of society, correct?
But all too often the system identifies the wrong man, or the woman gives them false or inadequate information (these are often one-night stands), and the “father” is presumed guilty.
In the Navarro case a California Court of Appeals refused to continue the slavery of a man after DNA testing conclusively demonstrated he was not the father of the child of a woman he didn't even know. During the course of the hearings and trials it was determined that the mother had named a Michael Nava as the father of her child. Los Angeles County child support enforcement had then begun demanding child support payments from Michael Navarro with no prior notice or determination of paternity.
In another case a man in South Carolina was “identified” as the “father” of a 16-year-old girl in Riverside County, California, by a woman he had never heard of. He found out about it when they started garnishing his wages for current child support and arrearages. And he was left with almost no money to defend himself against a case on the opposite coast, or to support his existing family in South Carolina.
It would be our recommendation that the paternity of every child be determined by DNA testing before any man, in any situation, acknowledges that he is the father of a child. If nothing else, such testing provides peace of mind.
But in almost one in three cases, nearly 30% of such tests shows the putative father isn't. A man is an utter fool to gamble eighteen years of supporting a child that isn't his with those odds. And it is better to know immediately rather than five or ten years down the road when Cupcake gets mad at you and tells you the child isn't yours. For more information see Citizens Against Paternity Fraud and other web site links.
Always have a DNA paternity test done for any child a woman claims is yours.
The following information was provided by Christopher Jahnke of Digital Brand Expressions to promote their client Orchid GeneScreen of Princeton, New Jersey.
The Equal Justice Foundation does not endorse or receive compensation from either of these entities and presents this article solely on the basis that 30% of DNA tests in recent years have shown the alleged father was “excluded” from paternity. With a sample size that now exceeds 300,000 such tests the odds are nearly one in three that a given child wasn't sired by the man the woman claims is the father. Thus, in a divorce with children involved one of the first steps for a man should be to get paternity tests for all his presumed children.
DNA parental testing, or “paternity testing” as it is often called, now makes it possible to identify the parentage of any person through the non-invasive procedure of simply swabbing the inside cheek of a child and the assumed parents and testing the sample in a lab. The process is so simple; it can now be done in the privacy of the home. The samples are placed in sealed containers and mailed in envelopes provided by the testing facility.
Results are routinely available in less than 7 days. If the test shows that the father (usually the father is being tested, but the test works for both parents) is not the biological parent of the child, he/she is said to be excluded. If the test shows that the alleged father cannot be excluded, he is said to be included and a likelihood of paternity is then calculated. If this likelihood is 99% or higher, then the man is indicated to be the biological father, and therefore in almost all court settings the legal father.
As with any medical breakthrough that makes the once impossible an every day occurrence, the ethical and personal considerations tied to DNA parental testing are running at breakneck speed to catch up to the wonders of science.
In this case, at the heart of every “Who are the real parents?” is a human being, often a child, who has been living in a reality based on certain assumptions. “My dad is my dad, my mom is my mom.” But DNA parental testing technology now makes it possible for anyone with suspicions to confirm or quell them in less than a week. It is many experts' belief that any of these anxieties or doubts will come to the surface at some point in the relationship of the currently recognized parents, and not always in a controlled and thoughtful way.
And while “DNA theft” concerns have become news and legislative fodder in Europe and the U.S. (the worry that unscrupulous investigators, digging through garbage cans to find items with DNA on them will use them to reveal private information about their targets, e.g., health related information), another immediate and pressing concern is coming into focus: the market for private DNA parental testing has spawned numerous web sites making false and misleading claims, preying on the fears and concerns of men and women who find themselves in need of testing.
There are several typical scenarios in which people may find themselves wanting to learn about DNA parental testing. They include:
• The most common scenario — a man is told by a woman that a child is his.
• A woman becomes suspicious of another woman's child — she thinks her own partner may be the father.
• A man comes to believe that a child he has been raising as his own may not be his.
• Sometimes a family member becomes curious about a child — the child doesn't look like anyone in the family.
• Inheritance issues — DNA paternity testing is increasingly being used by heirs contesting the parents of siblings.
• Immigration — Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS) will accept DNA test results as proof of relationships, so families can bring relatives who may not have birth records, e.g., parents and grandparents, into the U.S.
• Adoption — DNA parental testing positively identifies the biological parents so they can legally give up their child for adoption and parental rights can be assigned to the adoptive parents.
Because of the sensitivity of any of these scenarios, it is important to deal with highly reputable labs that value the privacy and other concerns of the individuals being tested. What should you know about home-based DNA parental testing before ordering the test kits?
First, that unless the results are required for a court of law, they don't need to be administered with witnesses and notarized. Many people opt for the less expensive test, which typically costs about $100 less than the legal version. The results are the same; it is just the need for witnesses and notarization that vary. In the cases where the test is to satisfy curiosity, frequently this home version is all that is needed.
It's very easy to order the test kit online from any one of over 50 web sites. Most of these sites, however, are for brokers who don't have labs themselves, they send the test kits on to the labs and receive a fee for handling the order. In these cases, you won't necessarily know where your sample is being processed and by whom. If you want to be protective of your test sample, you will probably want to go directly with the testing lab. Read the web site carefully to determine which is which. If you're still not sure, call the site's toll-free number to be sure. The largest laboratories in the U.S. are Orchid GeneScreen, DNA Diagnostics Center, LabCorp, and Identigene.
You'll also want to know how many tests the lab has processed. There are two reasons for this: first, just as it is becoming more evident that laser eye surgery conducted by highly experienced surgeons is more successful, due to both their pre- and during-operation expertise, so it is with paternity testing. You'll want to use a lab that has all of the tests reviewed by qualified doctors, not just trained technicians.
Secondly, the larger the lab's DNA typing database the more statistically accurate that lab can be in identifying mutations and rare DNA allele types for parentage inquiries. An allele can be thought of as genetic or molecular property of an individual's DNA. For example, a gene maybe made up from several alleles. Also note, that every person inherits an individual copy of DNA from each of their parents. Therefore, a person will have two portions of an allele, one inherited from each parent respectively. These larger allele databases help to ensure that significant comparison files are available for various racial groups. Every laboratory should record, without any ties to the identity of individual who submitted it, the specific DNA regions (alleles) of those tested to serve as reference markers among the thousands of pooled results to ensure improved frequency calculations for future identity tests.
Read the claims carefully. Much of the DNA testing for paternity/parentage sites emphasize certain points that are not unique claims.
For example, don't be fooled by claims of “accuracy.” “Accuracy,” as commonly used, usually refers to the reproducibility of samples run in the same laboratory, and any laboratory should be internally “accurate,” i.e., the error between samples should be small. True accuracy is defined as the extent to which a given measurement agrees with accepted standards set by the American Association of Blood Banks (AABB) .
Another common tactic is to emphasize claims of 100% exclusion. Any DNA testing facility should guarantee that. If the DNA of a person being tested does not match up, they are excluded — that's it, they're not the parent — very simple and not a claim to be touted.
The more important statistic is the one that many of these sites gloss over: “inclusions.” “Inclusion” is the statistic that represents the probability that someone is the parent and the “statistical rareness” of the DNA match represented in the inclusion percentage. The only way to get a 100% inclusion for paternity would be to test every sexually mature male on the planet at the time of conception. That is obviously not feasible. The courts have therefore ruled that anyone showing a probability of inclusion greater than 99%, which obviously eliminates exlusions, is said to be the biological father.
Generally, the larger the DNA allele database against which results are run, and the more numerous the DNA allele comparisons of those tested; the higher the probability is that the parents can be identified or that a wrongly named person will be exonerated as the biological parent by that lab.
Check the technology that is being used. The latest SNP technology, which is used by Private Paternity Testing and Orchid GeneScreen, requires very minute sample sizes — virtually eliminating the need for recollection of samples. Older technologies require larger samples, and frequently the sample sizes collected are too small to be used, requiring recollecting samples from the parties being tested.
Most of the DNA testing for parentage web sites offer support through an 800 telephone number. Make sure the 800 number is staffed with trained technicians and that they can provide you access to the doctors if you want it. Also, make sure that your tests are reviewed by doctors, not just trained technicians, and that the doctors are available to answer any questions you may have once you receive your results.
Be wary of the credentials claimed by the labs. The most important is the American Association of Blood Banks (AABB). This is the regulatory agency responsible for credentialing blood labs. Another significant credential to look for is accreditation from the New York State Department of Health. A laboratory must have the NYSDH certification in order to provide testing to residents of New York state.
Also, check how they adhere to the American Association of Blood Banks (AABB) standards. For example, many of the labs do meet the AABB standards for exclusions (2 tests per sample to protect against false positives). P rivate Paternity Testing, from Orchid GeneScreen, exceeds the AABB. Typically, they do this by testing on 9 to13 different systems (alleles) of DNA until they come up with either 99.99% inclusionary probability for parentage or 3 exclusions (in cases of single and double mutations or in cases with no maternal sample, the testing is guaranteed to 99.9%). If the test yields at least a 99.9% probability of paternity, the parent in question is the child's biological parent and will be deemed so in almost every court setting. If two exclusions are met, other labs assume the parent is excluded, in other words, not the parent. There have been instances where two exclusions were later revealed to be “false negatives.” Private Paternity Testing keeps going, however, until they arrive at a third exclusion, further ensuring that the parent in question is not the parent.
What should it cost? Brokers can shop your tests around looking for a lab willing to process them at a discount, and they pass those savings onto their customers. Sending your results directly to the labs, on the other hand, will cost between $450-$600, depending the quality of the lab's technology and how rigidly it adheres to the AABB guidelines and standards. Going directly to one of the main labs will cost more because of their insistence on accuracy, reliability, privacy, and their customer support systems, which should include providing you access to the doctors if you have questions about your results.
ABC's 20/20 on DNA Paternity Testing from 11/01
Web site for largest lab, from Orchid GeneScreen
Celebrity Use of DNA Testing: Hurley & Bing case
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